My Stupid Mouth

"I just want to be liked, I just want to be funny. Looks like the joke's on me..."

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Location: Iowa, United States

Tuesday, December 14

'Twas the Night Before Finals

‘Twas the night before finals, and all through the college, the students were praying for last minute knowledge. Most were quite sleepy, but none touched their beds, while visions of essays danced in their heads. Out in the taverns, a few were still drinking, and hoping that liquor would free up their thinking. In my own room, I had been pacing, and dreading exams I soon would be facing. My roommate was speechless, his nose in his books, and my comments to him drew unfriendly looks. I drained all the coffee, and brewed a new pot, no longer caring that my nerves were shot. I stared at my notes, but my thoughts were muddy, my eyes went a blur, I just couldn't study. "Some pizza might help," I said with a shiver, but each place I called refused to deliver. I'd nearly concluded that life was too cruel, with futures depending on grades had in school. When all of the sudden, our door opened wide, and Patron Saint Put-It-Off ambled inside. His spirit was careless, his manner was mellow, and all of the sudden he started to bellow, "On Cliff Notes, on Crib Notes, on Last Years Exams. On Wingit and Slingit, and Last Minute Crams." His message delivered, he vanished from sight, but we heard him laughing outside in the night. Your teachers have pegged you, so just do your best. Happy finals to all, and to all a good test.


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